what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It's rum buckets o'clock
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize