After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
