Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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