dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize