White coat. Heels.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
