at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
