Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
