I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
