I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
