Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize