My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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