I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
