Don't you send me to vm
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I don't deserve a penis
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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