I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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