omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
