make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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