the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
