There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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