At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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