just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
