Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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