we have pet lesbian snakes
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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