if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
