It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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