we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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