Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(435): View more from Utah

this will be a night to untag.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend

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(757): View more from Virginia

The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.

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(813): View more from Florida

So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.

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(435): View more from Utah

When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics

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(616): View more from Michigan

This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day

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