Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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