Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
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