is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
