Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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