It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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