I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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