I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
soo... how was my night?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
