So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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