Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
