It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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