I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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