you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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