feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
i think my cat just said my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize