Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
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WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
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She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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