yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
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I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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