Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
