Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize