I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
