i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
