Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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