At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
