This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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