hotel room ftw
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
