its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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