sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
