Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
