if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He passed out mid-signature
I miss vodka workout Fridays
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
