It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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