Yo dont text me then not text me
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I am one with the molecules
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
