just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize