Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
